Cheaters Always Get Caught

"Are you fucking cheating on me?"

Synopsis of Cheaters Always Get Caught:
          As I was covering a break up at the front registers, a tall business woman came up and wanted to return one of my company's expensive new e-readers she had gotten as a gift from her husband. After calling for a manager, and processing the return, the woman was shocked to find out that he not only bought her one, but apparently two others as well...

An Excerpt from Cheaters Always Get Caught:

-The man that had walked up when I called for the next person in line had one book in his hand from our Bargain section.

“I’ll pay five for that.” The man said. I looked at him strangely and then saw the sticker price on the front cover: $8.95.  I was silent for a second, because I didn’t know what the hell he meant by that.

Questionably is replied “Um, well the sticker price for the book says $8.95 sir.”

“Well I’m saying I’ll give you five for it.” 

Then it struck me, the man thought that because he was buying from the bargain section, he could bargain the price of the book with me.

“Sir” I said as nicely as I could without making him feel completely retarded, “The bargain sticker means that the price of the book now, is currently a bargain price compared to our competitors, It doesn’t mean you and I can negotiate a price for it.”  He stared at the book for a second, taking in the information I had just relayed.

“Oh” he said, and handed me a ten dollar bill from his pocket while still staring at the book. I still don’t think he fully understood what I was saying to him. He took his change and book with him and left.

The next customer that came up was a tall woman in business attire. In her hand she was holding one of our new expensive e-readers in its original packaging.

“Hi, how’s it goin’?” I asked as she placed the e-reader on the counter.

“Very well thank you” she said nicely. “I need to return this, it was a gift from my husband.”

“Alright” I replied, “Let me call a manager up for you, do you have the receipt?”

“Unfortunately I don’t, but I do have the credit card my husband used to purchase it.” She replied.

“Alright they should be able to find it in the system then, it shouldn’t be a problem.” I said as I picked up the phone and paged for a manager.

I placed her at the register next to mine, where all of our returns were done, and said,   “A manager will be right up to help you,” and continued waving over the next person in line to my register.

As I was ringing up the next person, Sebastian came up and started asking the normal string of questions for a return.

“Do you have a receipt?” He asked.

“No, but I do have the credit used.” She said again.

“Alright let me see if I can find the purchase.” Sebastian said. He swiped her card, and began to scroll down with his mouse to find the transaction. He stared at the screen for a few seconds and then said, “Alright, I think I found the transaction, I just need to verify the ISBN to see which of the three this e-reader is.”

She stared at him and then replied, “What do you mean… of the three? I only have one here.”

Sebastian looked up at her and said, “Well it seems your husband purchased three e-readers total, at three separate locations.”

“That can’t be.” She said as she began to remove her phone from her purse. “Hang on a second, I’ll get to the bottom of this,” as she proceeded to call her husband. 

When he picked up the woman said loudly, 

“Are you fucking cheating on me?”

Gathering the attention of many customers in the vicinity from such a question, including the customer I was ringing up, I stopped what I was doing to take a listen.

“What do you mean, what do I mean?” she said, “I said are you fucking cheating on me?” she paused to listen to what I’m sure was an extremely frantic husband.

“Well I came to the store to return the e-reader you got me, and the man standing in front of me is saying you purchased another two. Who the hell did you buy them for?” she asked with a stern voice.

“You bought one for my mother? She never said a word to me about getting one when I spoke to her today. I even mentioned I was going to return it.”

Whoever this man was on the other line was for one, not quick on his feet, and two, totally fucked. Mind you, all of the customers who had been somewhat listening to the conversation, were now in a full blown stand and stare.

“So who was the third one for then, if you supposedly gave my mother one?” A longer pause came after that question; I bet he didn’t say a damn word.

“You know what peter, I really can’t believe you. You can go fuck yourself” She said as she hit the End button on her phone. She looked up at Sebastian, obviously fighting back tears at this point and asked, “Is there any way I can get cash back for this?”...